Monday, 16 December 2013

Virginity is an out dated topic, but I am forced to talk about it as I see it’s still important to a man before he chooses a female as life partner. Though the premarital sex is no more a taboo in Indian society (majority), but still men prefer her would be wife to be a virgin.
An intact hymen is necessary for girl to prove her purity? Innocence, upbringing of a girl can be decided by a little piece of tissue? Isnt it ridiculous?
VIRGINITY is a bench mark to be a perfect bride???!!!

 A male friend of mine recently dumped his 3yrs live-in partner to get married to another girl. Out of feminine curiosity I said-I thought you both are going to work out together, you both looked so happy together. His reaction was-‘’how can I marry a girl who lived with me for years without a holy bond? My family won’t accept a non-virgin girl, they are kind of conservative.”I wanted to slap him hard. How can he dump a girl to get married to a virgin where his virginity has no consideration at all in whole scheme of thinking?
Another friend of mine, who lives in western country came all the way to India just to get married to a virgin bride. I had seen his pictures with his girl friend on facebook.Again asked him the same question. His answer was-she is just girl friend materials, not wife types, don’t know with how many men she has  gone out with, in the past “I got little cheeky and asked him-“U mean worried about STD??”His answer-“No no, she is clean, sex is not a taboo I western countries, they are all well educated on safe sex”, I got more cheeky and asked him-“why did you leave her then? She wasn’t compatible with you? His answer was same old-‘She is a good lady, it’s just that my family wants a virgin bride “I wanted to ask really? It’s your family or you who want to virgin bride?
Another friend also dumped a girl to get married to a virgin bride. His girlfriend was an ex of his own friend before he started affair with her. when I asked him why did you ditch her-his answer was “if I marry a girl who was my friend’s ex,I wouldn’t be called as not a man enough in my friend’s circle “I was like-“oh really? You are called as a man enough for having affair with your friend’s ex girl friend for many years then?”
A survey conducted by Hindustan time’s says-64.4% men in India prefers virgin bride. Why this fuss about virginity? Technology gets revised and updated every now and then but why not the mind set?
One of the article I read says-In Madhya Pradesh state where mass wedding was held,would be brides were forced to go through a  virginity test.!5 women were forbidden to get married as they failed the test. What an embarrassment and humiliation!!!! Virginity is not a character certificate for a woman.
Being virgin till one gets married is a personal choice. Just because a girl has pre-marital sex she can’t be branded. Women now days are independent in all the ways, respect her sexual preference also. One can’t decide women’s faith towards marital bond on her pre marital sexual encounters. Just like technology ,even mind set also needs to be revised  and updated. Virtue of women can’t be decided on a mere tissue lining. Hymen can’t decide a dignity of a perfect wife. Virginity is not enough to be a perfect wife to a man.
I have a question for all those men who wants a virgin as a wife-do you prefer  virgin bride, who is selfish,naging,uncompatable or a wife who is non virgin,kind, compatible?do u want to decide whom you want as a wife on just based on lining of a tissue?
There is no fool proof method to conduct a test to prove virginity. Hymen doesn’t need intercourse to rupture, it can rupture for many reasons like-cycling, swimming, dancing etc and few are just born with no hymen.

Remember virginity can be faked; reconstruction of a hymen (hymenoplasty) is done in few hours as an outpatient. Women are financial independent in present world, if she decides she can fake it. Man-you want to start a life on fake virginity??

Love yourself


  1. Amazingly written!

  2. This explains the dual mentality of men's out here. All the examples which you gave are of some poor mentality chaps, who considers women as a body only. Though in fact I feel pity about those girl who either marries them or were the girl friends of those cheap guys.

    I don't know how a girl decide about her boy friend, but to be very frank every girl should think twice about making any male as a friend. Being a girl friend is a talk of very later stage.

    As far as virginity of a girl remains the benchmark of a marriage is concerned, then it suits to those guys who don't even had sex before their marriage. But those who already were involved in such relationships don't have any right to say about it, or ditch any lady for this basis.

    It is the girls who need to decide which types of life partner do they need. Gone are the days when parents use to decide who will be your life partner.

  3. The problem with virginity is that it does not lie in the hymen but in the brain. It is an attitude. An attitude of fidelity.

  4. Sad reality it's applicable only for the women. Men are free to do what they please!
    Relevant points, Knitha.

    1. Yeah...They dont have any methood to go through a virginity test...Even women has no fool proof method but still she is subjected to such humiliating tests...

  5. Enjoyed reading your post and I fully support you. How can you judge a future life partner by a piece of hymen? It is so ridiculous. Such men should be flown out into space and dumped in another planet.

  6. Good post Knitha. It is really sad how all of this is happening all around us. It is really humiliating for the girls. Like you said, probably it is the fakeness that those guys need and probably deserve too. I feel so sad when I hear about such a thing anywhere. I just hope people, actually our generation of people pass good knowledge to our upcoming generation so this humiliating thing can be banished for good and girls be praised who who they are on the inside.

  7. aptly said, nicely written, guess we live in a country where phones are smart and people are unsmart

  8. 8-) great..well written thoughts...hmmmmm

  9. "Technology gets revised and updated every now and then but why not the mind set?"
    Well said. But it is a far fetched dream. Trust me, it will take another 10 generations or may be more than that to accept the gender equality, when it comes to virginity!

    Very well articulated thoughts!:)

  10. Its question of fidelity again !! in India Men are free , sadly !

  11. Live and let live.Being virgin till one gets married is a personal choice.So is wanting to marry a virgin bride or groom.

  12. Its not just about tissue lining in all cases. Its about the idea that the girl has been in an intimate relationship with someone else before meeting you, what if after marriage she loses interest and starts to look for another man in order to satisfy her sexual desires. A long lasting relationship asks for complete trust and faith.

  13. Blaming her for the cowards that they are. It is because we have never seen people for who they are on the inside that we keep judging them on the things that they do on the outside. Not only do you prison a woman’s body but also her heart and mind, and that, is the end of her life, irrespective of as long as she lives.